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I completed my Project 7 in Competent Communicators Manual this week in our Coimbatore Toastmasters Club .

Title of my Project 7 Speech is “Loneliness – The Most Terrible Poverty”. The key objectives of Project 7 are research a topic and support the topic with relevant data and information. I thought this topic enough scope to research and collect relevant data to support. Below is the transcript of my P7 from CC Manual.

Dear Mr.Toastmaster, Fellow Members and Guests – Very Good Evening.

Can any one tell me, what is going to be the greatest epidemic of this century…???

Cancer…? AIDS…? Swine Flu…? Malaria…? NO.

According to recent research in US by the National Office of Statistics, one in five people will go a whole week without speaking to anyone, with a staggering one in ten people spending up to a month without any human connection.

The World Health Organisation has rated “LONELINESS” as a higher risk to health than smoking and as great a risk as obesity.

When I was living in Bangalore, a neighbor of 3 yrs years was taken to hospital in middle of the night. He never returned… I since learned that he has terminal brain cancer and is living out his final days. He had passed me in the street many times, but had only uttered a quick “hello” to me before continuing on his way. We never shared anything beyond just a “hello” for all those 3 yrs. We hardly take time even to know our neighbors, we are engrossed into our iPods, iPads and gizmos these day.

Two major impacts of loneliness are suicide and divorce.

According to the report from Home Ministry of India, 15 commit suicide every hour in India. Of the half million people reported to die of suicide worldwide every year, 20% are Indians.

It is said “Marriages are made in Heaven”, I don’t know to what extent that is true, but I’ve no doubt that divorces are made in earth.

On divorce, recent statistics shows that close to 8000 divorce cases are filed in Delhi this year, number of divorces in Mumbai rose to 7500 a spike of over 13% from previous year, Chennai with 4500 divorces and Bangalore with 6000 divorce cases. On an average more than 150 cases are filed in family courts every day across the country.

Loneliness is increasing due to nuclear families, youngsters working away from home living on their own, both husband and wife working with no time for togetherness . Especially elders in the society are affected the most. More than half of those over the age of 75 live alone and about one in ten suffers ‘intense’ loneliness that leads to Alzheimer.

It is a well-known fact, psychologically established, that if a person is left alone in isolation for seven days he keeps talking inside, keeps himself engaged in the mind, but then it becomes too much after seven days he starts talking… things start coming out of his mind through his mouth and he starts whispering. After fourteen days you can hear him clearly, what he is saying. After twenty-one days he does not bother about anybody, he has gone insane; now he is talking to walls, to pillars. He is trying to find some relationship. If he cannot find it in reality, he will create a hallucination.

In this age of social networking, you’d wonder how anyone could ever feel lonely. I have a friend who has close to 1000 Facebook friends, but very few people he can honestly call real friends, and even fewer with whom he could connect on a deeper level.

With facebook, twitter and other social networking tools, we have more and more ways to connect with others through the advances in technology, but the level of connection that is happening is becoming increasingly superficial. All of the technology in the world can’t change the fact that we are growing more and more socially isolated in our society.

“While it’s nice to be in touch with your cousin in England over Facebook, that can’t replace a more intimate face-to-face relationship…, you need to balance this with relationships within the community you are actually living in,”

Once, my mom asked me to attend a wedding. That was a marriage reception of my dad’s friend’s daughter and had to attend as my dad was out of town that day for an official trip. I knew none other than that uncle, it was a grand function with lots of people wishing the couple, children playing and families talking and laughing. In-spite of all that I felt terribly alone there as I was not knowing anyone in the function.

It isn’t merely the physical presence of others that will solve the problem. It is the lack of emotional connection with other people that creates the feeling of isolation and loneliness. It isn’t as simple as just getting out there and meeting new people.  It’s no point in having more acquaintances…but a real deep connection and emotional bonding is important. It requires time, effort, and at least a moderate level of risk.  One has to put him or herself out there in order to gain closeness with another human being.

Some simple tips to overcome loneliness could be;

1.     Go for a daily morning walk, talk to elders and play with little children around.

2.     Try to be open with your close friends and family members. Tell them about your feelings, emotions, fears and worries instead of running the usual superficial conversations.

3.     Get involved in some community projects/activities that involve deeper emotional bonding with people.

4.     Join a “Toastmasters Club”

“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.” Mother Teresa

Back to Mr.Toastmaster.

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

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With reference to my earlier posts on Toastmasters, now a club in Coimbatore City has become the reality.  Below is the coverage in The Hindu onthe installation and charter ceremony of Coimbatore Toastmasters Club.

Find below further details:

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With Love,

Anbusivam

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Coimbatore Toastmasters Club has just started crawling slowly with few more visitors coming for the meetings. I attempted Project 5 from Competent Communicator Manual, in our yesterday’s meeting.

Title of my Project 5 Speech is “Toastmasters – The Swimming Pool of Public Speaking”. I deliberately took swimming as my topic because I thought it will have larger scope of body movement so as to achieve project 5 objectives. Below is the transcript of the speech I delivered in Coimbator Toastmasters Club.

 

Dear Madam Toastmaster, Fellow Members and Distinguished Guests Very Good Evening.

I think it was in the year 1989, I was enjoying my summer holidays in my lush, green native village. There is a common well in the village which was primarily used for swimming and playing by the young and old. I was really scared of water and always used to sit on the sidewalls of the well watching my cousins, brothers and sisters swimming and playing. One fine day, as I was watching some one from behind pushed me into the well. I tried something with my hands and legs, but nothing was working and I was drowning in the water. I thought, yes this is my last moment in life and I am gonna die. Luckily someone pulled me out of the well and I ran home to my mother crying all the way. After a while when I came to know that the the person who pushed me inside the well was none other that my Grandfather, I was so furious and angry with him. I did not event talk to him for more than a week. After this incident, I never thought of learning to swim in my life until the year 2006.

After so many years, in 2006 I went out for a team building with my office colleagues to a nice resort in outskirts of Bangalore. The best attraction of the resort was it’s large, clean swimming pool. I was the only odd man out who was not knowing to swim an all others were happily enjoying in the pool. That day I decided, “I am going to learn to swim in next 3 months. I will and I can.”

Soon after coming back to Bangalore, I enrolled myself in a nice swimming pool in Indiranagar. Next morning my room partners were really surprised, as I was getting ready for my swimming class like a soldier getting ready for the battle field, with all swimming cap, googles, swimming nickers etc. As I entered the pool premises, I saw few advanced swimmers effortlessly gliding through the water. I watched with envy, thinking “When I am I going to learn to swim like this..???”

To my good the coach there was a national level champion and he taught me to swim in a step by step systematic manner. The first lesson was to make friends with water and get acquainted with the pool. I still remember what he said on the first day. He said to me “Water is your friend, you have to fight with it, you just have to share the same spirits as water and it will help you move”. The second lesson was to hold on to the sidewalls and flap your legs so that the body will float in the water. The third lesson was to keep the head inside water for sometime and bring it out to breathe. The fourth lesson was to kick the side wall of the pool and as you move in the water also push the water backwards such that you will get more forward thrust to reach the other side of the wall. I was practicing this in the breadth wise of the pool for more than a week.

Now after more than 3 week I had to do all the above in a same time and that was really challenging. Somehow I manged to learn that too. You must note that all these adventures were happening only in the 4feet level of the swimming pool. After few days, I slowly sneaked into the 6feet level holding on the the sidewalls. When I started to try out my swimming skills there, oops I was again back to 1989. I started drowning in the water and this time the coach pulled me out. He said one should not be in a hurry to learn to swim, it should be learnt slowly step by step. I my happiness at the end of 3 months, I could comfortably glide through the water though not effortlessly. In another was also able to different strokes like freestyle, butterfly stroke, breast stroke and even back stoke.

Believe me Toastmasters, Public Speaking is no different than swimming. We have to come in front of a group of people, we know they are judging us, we forget our flow of thoughts, we are nervous, it is terrifying and it all happens in a single moment. If we really wish to learn to swim we cannot keep one foot on the ground. We just have to jump inside the water, drown at times, only then we will be able to learn to swim.

Toastmasters Club is a safe, secured and very conducive swimming pool, and if we can effortlessly swim here in this pool then any other big ocean will be just a matter of little more effort for us.

Friends, I welcome you all to jump into this wonderful swimming pool called Coimbatore Toastmasters Club, let  us together learn the best strokes of public speaking.

Back to Madam Toastmaster.

Please spread the word of Coimbatore Toastmasters Club to your friends and colleagues if they are in Coimbatore region.

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

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With reference to my earlier post Toastmasters in Coimbatore City I am very happy and thanks for all the wonderful responses.

Now I’ve gathered few details regarding Toastmasters into the following ppt.

Coimbatore Toastmaster’s

Let’s get started with our great Coimbatore Toastmasters movement.

Feel free to get in touch with me for any relevant questions.

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love
Anbusivam

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog Page.

What about starting a club in Coimbatore City…?

COIMBATORE TOASTMASTERS CLUB

Please Visit: http://www.toastmasters.org/

Join “Coimbatore Toastmasters Club” @ facebook groups for further details.
https://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_113865678706438

Call me or SMS me at +91 96009 24929

Some Leading Clubs in India:

http://www.bangaloretoastmasters.org.in/

http://www.chennaitoastmastersclub.org/

http://www.smedleys.org/

http://gardencity.freetoasthost.ws/

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love
Anbusivam

Dear Friends,

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog Page.

I attempted Project 3 from Competent Communication Manual yesterday in our Bangalore Toastmasters Club. As usual I was tied up with so many other things and was not attending the club meetings regularly. Though I had written my speech almost 2 weeks earlier I had no idea of giving the speech in near future. Suddenly I there was a mail from Jindow our club’s VP Education stating that there is a speech slot available in this meeting. Seeing that mail I decided to take up this challenge of preparing my speech in just 2 days, but later I realised that it was a wrong decision from me. I could have done it much better if I had done my rehearsals properly in advance instead of doing it in last minute hurry.

Find below the transcript of my project 3 speech.

“World May End Tonight”

Mr.Toast Master, Fellow Members and Guests…..a Very Good Evening.

A great saying goes like this,
“Those who cling to life die, and those who defy death live”

The most vivid memory of my early childhood is the love and affection I received from my grandparents. I grew up with them during my early childhood, reason being they were living close by my school. My grandmother was every thing to me. I was so attached to her all through my life. Unfortunately she had to depart this world last year, which was a very natural death, inevitable result of the aging process

I was so depressed when my loving grandmother expired. I was angry and cursing the creation for taking her away from me. This incident made me deliberately think about death. The word “Death” is always a taboo and seen as an untouchable topic of discussion. But the truth is by understanding death and conquering the fear of death, our life will turn out to be richer than ever.

We always fear death because we believe that it will take away what ever we have. We want to strongly hold on to our name, our fame, our status, our desires, our wealth, our pleasures and so on. We desperately want everything to continue as it is.

There was a man who was so annoyed with his nagging wife and the painful marital problems he had for years. He dies and goes to the gates of heaven where he meets God. God says to him, “I have looked at your book of life and you are welcome in heaven under one condition.”

The man said, “Yes, God. And what is that condition?”

God says, “You must spell the word: love.”

The man spells the word and God lets him into heaven.

As the man walks in, God tells the man to watch the gate until he returns, and reminds him that he must ask whoever comes to spell the word.

After a short period of time, the man’s wife shows up at the gate.

“What are you doing here?” he asks her.

“Well, on the way home from your funeral, there was an accident and I died.”

“Alright, but you have to spell one word to enter into heaven,” he told her.

“What word is that?” she asks. The man thought for a while and said, “Czechoslovakia,”

In the Mahabharata, king Yudhishthira when asked, “What is the greatest wonder in the whole world?” replied: “Every day we see people dying all around us and never think that we too will die.” We are like children who cover their eyes in a game of hide-and-seek and think that no one can see them.

Although no one knows which will be that fateful day, we all live with lots of attachment to this materialistic world as if we are certain that we won’t die. Some one said “We live as if we are not going to die and die as if we had never lived”.

Death is a vast mystery, but there are two things we can say about it: It is absolutely certain that we will die, and it is also uncertain when or how we will die.

We also don’t know why some people die so quickly, and others take such a long time. Just as we don’t know why some people die so peacefully and others in such miserable circumstances. Another great mystery.

If we understand that death is the most unplanned plan, planned out for each of us in life, we will perhaps at least make an effort to plan our lives better.

According to the wisdom of Buddha, we can actually use our lives to prepare for death. We can begin, here and now, to find meaning in our lives. We can make every moment an opportunity to change and to prepare—wholeheartedly, precisely, and with peace of mind—for death and eternity.

Starting today, let us live life as if it is all going to be over tonight. Do every thing we want to do. Laugh and smile as much as we can, as though we may not get any other chance to express our innocence. After all, who knows the world may end tonight.

Life is, indeed a set of fleeting experiences all through. Before most of us even realize that we are living, life gets over!!! Let us live each day as if it is going to be the last day on this planet, make the best of each and every moment. Let’s fill every moment with love, happiness, knowledge and joy. Thus the understanding of death add life to our lives, after all who knows the world may end tonight.

Having obsession in accumulation of wealth and possession of money will only lead to depression in life.

Creation of our life into celebration of Love and Happiness is the only resolution that can guarantee ultimate satisfaction in life.

After all who knows, World May End Tonight.

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love,
Anbusivam[ad#Google Adsense]

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog Page.

It’s been almost for 4 years I am sharing my thoughts and learning’s on various topics in my blog page @ http://www.anbusivam.blogspot.com. I’ve been thinking of moving it to my own domain http://www.anbusivam.com and it was long pending due to lack of my expertise in web technologies. Today with my novice web skills I managed to install WordPress into my domain and now writing this first post here. Thanks to Google and various wordpress forums.

I would like to thank all readers of my blog and my friends who were always there with me giving in all their appreciations and criticisms on my good and not so good writings here.

It’s a great pleasure to welcome you all to this new journey, new platform, my own domain http://www.anbusivam.com

Keep visiting for more useful, informative and interesting articles here. Thank You.

Thanks for Visiting my Blog.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog Page.