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When I was pondering on my new year resolutions, I received an e-mail from my Boss which contained what I was exactly thinking about.

Though he shared it from professional context, I decided to take this up seriously in my personal life as well in this new year 2012. Find below my 6 point agenda for the year 2012.

be Responsive
(each communication received, will be acknowledged and responded)

be Expert
(be more informed & the subject-matter-expert in the area of work that am responsible for)

be Here & Now
(anything than can be done today will not be deferred for tomorrow)

be Gratified
(celebrate both success and failures – for joy and learning respectively)

be Organized
(increased control on my tasks through planning)

be Invested
(re-invest in making self a better person for tomorrow)

I am going to track this sincerely throughout this year and will update at the end of 2012.

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog.

Are you in the final year of your graduation…? Are you waiting for your placements…? Are you a fresh graduates appearing for an interview…?

Here are some thoughts and experiences based on my encounters with thousands of engineering graduates in my profession. Some general Interview Tips for Fresh Engineering Graduates in their final year appearing for campus interviews.

First and foremost, “What is an Interview…?”.  From placement perspective, “Interview is a formal meeting, in which one or more persons from an organisation evaluate or assess the qualifications and abilities of a person who could be a prospective employee of the organisation”.  From my grandfather’s, the first and foremost question asked in any interview is “Tell me about your self”. Most of the times students are trained by some external training agencies who teach in a systematic way of how to handle this first question. Students write down few points about themselves in the same systematic order and memorize the same. When they fail to clear the the interview, then they think “Why am I not selected inspite of me answering the way I was taught..?”.

I am listing down some important Interview Tips for Freshers as below:

1. Decide what you want in life:

Many of the young graduates I’ve interacted are not really clear on what they want in life.  They just attend the first company that comes for hiring in their campus and go on until they are placed. Very rarely I see students preparing seriously and sincerely for one or two core engineering companies of their area of interest. Most of the others just go with the crowd without any great ambitions. Kindly remember “A ship without a clear target destination will be taken by the natural strides to any unwanted shore”.

“Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.”

You are the captain of your own ship called career, decide where you want to go, understand the ways and means to reach that destination, work hard with sincere commitment towards reaching the goal.

- Identify your core area of interest

- Identify few of the best companies working in that area

- Check who are all hiring among them

- Talk to some of your seniors who are working there already

- Understand their hiring process, written test question patterns, interview pattern, selection process, etc

- Spend all your time and energy, with sincere commitment and ambition to prepare for the interview

2. Do Your Homework:

Just don’t walk into campus hiring programme without knowing anything about the organisation. Do a simple Google search  just to see what you can find about the company in the web, it’s history, business, products and services, customers and it’s leadership team. Visit the company’s website, search for it in social media sites, talk to the existing and former employees of the organisation to understand it better. Make sure that you also use the information collected during the interview appropriately.

3. Rehearse Beforehand:

Some of the very commonly asked questions are “Tell me about yourself”, “What are your strengths and weaknesses?”, “Why do you want to work in this company?”, “Why should we hire you?”, “What are your hobbies?”, “What are your career goals?” etc. Conduct mock interviews with your teachers or trusted friends. Do as many rounds as possible. Do a through rehearsal beforehand. Also be prepared to face some unexpected questions as well.

4. Tell me about yourself:

Answer this question in a most creative way, rather than going by the same monotonous, boring, systematic details which is already there clearly printed in your resume. Please understand that the very purpose of this question is just to make you comfortable and to start the conversation. Interviewer will get to know more about you based on which he will ask his next further questions.

- Clearly pronounce your name and tell how you would like to be called.

- Give a precise and only relevant information about yourself, your education, academic achievements, interests, hobbies and family.

- Very personal details are not really important.

5. Come with a Pleasant Smile:

As you enter the interview room, look straight into the eyes of the interviewer with a pleasant smile. Simple smile opens up the bridge between two persons and that also makes each other comfortable for further discussions.  A smile shows not only confidence, but a pleasant nature.  As a human being, it is very common that we would love to talk to a person who has a good smile rather than a stiff person.  Smiling will actually help you feel more relaxed, feel positive, and good about any situation. It will also reduce your interview fear and anxieties.

6. Be Confident and Energetic:

Bring in lots of energy when you enter the interview room, have a firm hand shake and be confident. Entering the interview room with full of energy, enthusiasm and motivation is always wonderful. Energy must be sparkling from your body, there must be this sparkle in your eyes.  It should automatically demonstrate your determination and enthusiasm about the job.

7. It’s Really Ok to Say “I Don’t Know”:

Please remember, it is not that you are supposed to know everything. It is absolutely fine to say “Sorry, I Don’t Know”. Having said that, please also remember that you should also show the confidence that given a chance you will be able to quickly learn the same. Do not ever try to fabricate the answer with what you really don’t know. Most interviewers will appreciate your honesty if you say I don’t know rather than trying to give some worthless attempt to fabricate the answer which will obviously understood by the interviewer.

Please share your interview experiene here as comments for the benefit of other students.

Wishing you all a wonderful placements.

Thanks for Visiting my Page.

With Love,

Anbusivam

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog.

Happiest Minds Technologies a new generation IT services company has listed six important qualities that they would look for from each prospective employee.  I am sure it is greatly very relevant for any organisation and every job seeker should know in detail.

Six Important Qualities for Job Seekers – SMILES

1. SHARING:
A person who is a team player, who is willing to share knowledge and help others

2. MINDFULNESS:
Someone who is attentive, caring and heedful.

3. INTEGRITY:
Every Happiest Mind should respect commitments, not just in letter but also in spirit and should exhibit professional, social and financial integrity.

4. LEARNING:
A person who is willing to acquire new skills and knowledge continuously and consistently

5. EXCELLENCE:
High aspirations for excellence backed by a strong action orientation

6. SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY:
A responsible corporate citizen who is aware of her/his environmental responsibility; someone who is willing to give back to the community.

I am sure, one with these qualities/skills will not be the job seeker, instead great jobs will seek him/her.

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

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One of my earlier articles in October 2007, was on “Doing What We Love Vs Loving What We Do”. Last evening I just remembered this post and was looking back at what I’ve written then, almost 3 years ago.

Indeed the same page I’ve mentioned is still present in my journal with dog’s ears now, I don’t know how many thousand times I have read this again and again and again….

It goes like this:

“Siva, you are here to do what you love to do, don’t ever settle for anything less than doing what you really love.”

These words kept me moving ahead in life all these years, towards what I love. At this juncture of my life, I am very happy that I’ve come close to what I love and very excited that I am going to start my journey in The Road Less Traveled.

I’ve heard motivational gurus saying “Come on, just go ahead and do what you love. If you do it the best, it will automatically pay you great results”. But unfortunately the reality to me was not that simple. I had my own commitments in life, need to build a house at my native town, my sister’s wedding, my aging parents to take care, my wife’s expectations, social compulsions and so on. It was not really easy to just jump out and start doing what I love simply because I love. It took very long and careful planning, considering all the problems and constraints around in life. I took one step at a time slowly and steadily towards my goal. Now I see, the present situation in my life is a one big step I am taking with all the learning’s I had from all the previous small steps I had come across in life.

Here are some tips from my own life experience on how to get towards what you love?

1. Find your passion:
Do a thorough self analysis to identify all about your great love in life. Just think about “what you are greatly passionate about?” , “what you are keenly interested in?” , “what you would love to do for the rest of your life with fullest potential and abundant happiness?”, “what you would think about, talk about and diligently do for hours together?”

2. Find your finances:
Ultimately your finances is what this world looks for to determine your success? If you have that big car, luxury home, big bank balance etc. then you are considered to be a very successful person in this society irrespective of how happy you are in life. Think about the real happiness that you are going to get from doing what you love to do. But also don’t forget that, this world runs on economics and money is an essential commodity to live here.

It’s really worth spending time to understand, how you are going to economically sustain doing what you love. Will people pay for what you are going to do…? What is the value you are going to add to yourself and the people around you…?

3. Find your core strengths:
Now you are 100% convinced with what you want to do and how it is going to add value. Next is, to look for your strengths that would naturally take you towards what you love. Look out for the unique strengths, qualities and abilities you have. Take a genuine feedback about yourself from your parents, siblings, teachers, friends and colleagues. Ask them what are the things those you are good at and naturally talented at. Identify, nurture and develop those strengths.

4. Find your weaknesses:
This is a very important and critical step. I am sure Ignorance is definitely not a bless in case of one’s weakness. Becoming aware of your own weakness and accepting your own limitations is the first step to conquer and overcome them effectively. Ask for very critical and frank opinions from people around, take the critical feedback very graciously, which will enable you to work on them. Identify, scrap them if not really useful and work on it to improve upon if it is going to be of use in life.

5. Have the commitment:
Not having that sincere commitment and dedication towards your own goal is a great recipe for failure in life. Have an uncompromising commitment towards what you want to achieve and keep working diligently towards your goal without any procrastination in life. Think about the words from Brian Tracy, “Do something each day about your goal such that you move an inch closer towards your goal at the end of the day”.

Ultimately “It’s not what you say, but what you do that counts.”

6. Don’t ignore the present:
Don’t forget the task at hand by just dreaming about the future. Remember that there will be no energy, enthusiasm and fun in pursuing the dreams when there is a sense of dissatisfaction about what you have at present. Yes, you may not love your work at present; irrespective of that learn to do the work at present with 100% diligence. Think about the saying “There is always a choice about the way we do our work, even if there is not much choice about the work itself.”

While accomplishing the tasks at present, look out for ways in which you can work towards your ultimate goal in life.

7. Get ready to give up:
If you are fully occupied and busy in life, then how are you going to spend time for what you love?. Make priorities accordingly and learn to give up certain comforts and explore new areas in life. Without touching that extra mile nothing is achieved in this world. Remember, “No Pain, No Gain”.

Don’t get stuck in your old patterns of thinking and ways of doing things. As we say in NLP, “If you are not getting the result you want, do something different.”

Take out your weekends, evenings and free time from your day job in learning, thinking and doing something about what you love to do. Pursue it like a very serious and sincere hobby. I am sure you would be able to turn your hobby into a full time profession one day in the future.

8. Have a strong belief in yourself:
Have a very strong belief in yourself, what you love to do and what you want to become. You may want to become a great singer, excellent painter, wonderful photographer, awesome dancer, great teacher, inspiring public speaker. Just call yourself with that name/title, make your future visiting cards already, talk to people as if you are one already. Have keen interest about it and seek to learn from whatever ways you could and share your insights. Ultimately have a very great self confidence and belief in yourself such that, nothing in this world can change that.

There could be much more that the tips above based upon where you are now at present in life and what you love to do in life. Always remember the words of Robert Frost in his Stopping by Woods, “The woods are lovely, dark, and deep, But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep.”

If you have that irresistible passion within, I am sure no one or nothing can stop you from reaching what you want in life.

My heartfelt wishes to you in the wonderful journey of doing what you love to do in life. I assure you that, Anbusivam.com will always be there for your motivation and support.

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog Page.

Two of my recent articles were on Happiness as you could see in the links below.

What is Real Happiness in Life & Simple Tips for the Pursuit of Happiness

This evening I received a very interesting information in my Google feed reader from Harvard Business Review (HBR) magazine’s blog column. It is all about how positive psychology and happy mind could greatly influence success in one’s personal and professional life. Click the below link for further details.

Why a Happy Brain Performs Better

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog Page.

One of my regular readers asked me, What do you mean by “Happiness Consultant”…? Why did you choose this phrase in your title…? What consulting would you do…?

I replied her that the ultimate aim of this website www.anbusivam.com is to bring in much more happiness in you every time you visit.

As we discussed “What is Real Happiness in Life…?” in the earlier post, it’s time to learn how to achieve that ultimate, everlasting happiness in life. Moment we say everlasting, we should realise that it is not an one time goal in life to acquire and move on for the next. Happiness is a life time pursuit, indeed it is more than just a pursuit. Happiness must be way of life.

I am listing here some simple tips those will be of great help in the pursuit of happiness.

1. Happiness is a Choice we Could make:
Happiness is nothing but the state of our mind and thoughts. We human beings have the fullest control over what we want to think, inturn Happiness is a choice we could make. If we could learn to choose happiness within, irrespective of what happens without us in the external world then that will be wonderful for ever. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent ” – Eleanor Roosevelt

2. Have Your Heart Filled with Gratitude:
Having a positive attitude towards life is very important as it is the foundation to success or to any goals that you want to achieve. Learn to appreciate people even for their little achievements in their life. Don’t you think being happy with what you have anyway is better than feeling miserable for what you don’t have. Be grateful and thankful for what you’ve got in your life.

3. Have a Positive Outlook on Yourself:
Just think who in this world is the most concerned about you and your well being other than your own-self. Have a great regard, respect and love for yourself than anyone else in this world. Be confident about your strengths and abilities. Focus more on your good qualities and improve upon them. Always remember this quote “A man’s as miserable as he thinks he is.”

4. Be Healthy and Wealthy:
The two important causes of majority of people’s unhappiness is lack of health and wealth as they would love to have. Having a healthy life style to keep your physical and mental wellness is key for happiness. The basic human needs like food, shelter and clothing are utmost important to stay happy in this materialistic world. And these are closely linked to the amount of wealth and money you have. But having the tenancy towards more and more money would also eventually lead to unhappiness within. Hence we should be looking for a balanced wealth creation along with good health for our well-being.

5. Look What Could be Done Instead for Worrying for What had Happened:
Seek solutions instead of cribbing about the problems those are in front of you. Yes there are situations that upsets you, but learn to setup back to normal as quickly as possible and think about what could be done. Learn to live in the present. “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha

6. Be Childlike:
Do you know that, little children are happier than the adults and they have the ability to find happiness in everything they see around. They just don’t have great expectations, even if something goes wrong they have the ability to let go and move on happily. Have you noticed children while playing falls down with injuries, but in few moments he is back running with his friends. They are curious about every thing and every one they come across. They are not judging people in advance merely by external factors. They don’t discriminate based on caste, creed, religion or color. For them all the children around are their friends and they just want to play around and be happy. Adopt a childlike attitude and you’ll feel much lighter than you were ever. Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children – Walt Disney

7. Be On the Path of Virtue and Righteousness:
Do what is “right” in life. Never go by the likes and dislikes of your wandering mind, most likely it will deceive you. Human Mind is the most dangerous instrument that leads to the destruction of humanity time and again. Look for your intellectual thinking, see what is right and what is wrong. May be you’ll have difficulties, challenges, might not not see that quick, short term happiness which is temporary, but holding on to the right moral responsibility will take you you to heights in the long run. No matter what happens to you, just stick to the path of righteousness and surely that will lead to real happiness at the end. The firm, the enduring, the simple, and the modest are near to virtue – Confucius.

7. Share and Give Back:
Give back to the society, share some of your greatest knowledge and wealth with your fellow human beings in need. At least give your time to those little children and to elderly people those who are underprivileged and lonely. This will bring you the greatest happiness.

8. Befriend Mother Nature:
Have you ever danced in the rain…? Have you ever hugged and kissed a tree…? Have you ever enjoyed the smell of this earth…? We are always misusing, abusing and overusing mother earth and her natural resources to the greatest possible extent, which would eventually lead to great misery for the mankind. Learn to live in harmony with the nature. Try all the level best at your own level to reduce polluting this earth and atmosphere, conserve the natural resources and to educe your carbon emission.

9. Simplify Your Life:
Don’t complicate your life with too many things. Don’t take up every thing in one hand and attempt to work or resolve multiple things at a time. Be organised go step by step. Strive to put the best possible efforts and let the outcome take its own course. Don’t worry too much about the result, instead just focus on the work in your right now. Learn to let say “No” and learn to “Let Go”. Life can be ridiculously complicated, if we let it. Let’s simplify it.

10. Love and Respect Others:
Learn to treat others they way you want them to treat you. Have a great respect and concern towards the people around. Learn to appreciate the differences in thoughts, opinions and ideas. Learn to treat others with humility, kindness and compassion. The profoundness of this love and respect towards others will surely bring us greatest happiness in our life.
Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other – it doesn’t matter who it is – and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other. – Mother Teresa

Ultimately Be Happy and Spread Happiness Around.

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog Page.

Happiness is the topic that comes up for discussion in most of our Sunday morning Chyk classes. After discussing number of ideas and various view points, we usually come to conclude that, the sole purpose of life is “Pursuit of Happiness”. Each and every small little actions of ours is always in the pursuit of that happiness. Unfortunately we fail to understand the source of ultimate happiness, in search of that in little materialistic things around us.

Uncontrolled advancements in science and technology, urban developments, culture of consumerism and the social norms of materialistic success, obsession for money, name and fame – all this has brought the man kind to a very important point of understanding what real happiness is?. Most of us are in the myth of deriving absolute happiness from that luxury car, palatial bungalow or a big bank balance. Yes of course these will surely improve our Standard of Living, but do we ever notice that our Standard of Life is getting deteriorated in a drastic pace…? Yes, better Standard of Living is indeed important for those external materialistic comforts that our mind and body will need, but having a well balanced Standard of Life is utmost priority for our life to be filled with happiness and joy.

We human beings are filled with thoughts and actions of hypocrisy. We first do the worst things that will literally rape this mother earth, over use, misuse, abuse her resources and then hold conferences and meetings to save earth. We first create situations that will lead to violence, fight, war and then we strive to achieve peace. Similarly in our own personal lives in pursuit of that temporary happiness we first do all dreadful things that will lead us to sorrow, misery, distress and then at the end strive in search of real happiness.

The great “American dream” has filled with images of happy people and happiness in the dance bars, night clubs, rave parties, driving luxury cars, having cute girl friends, great white collar job etc. We spend our entire lives in pursuing that mirage happiness out of belief in those images. So, the first thing is to identify what is going to give us real happiness.

If anyone of us has done a honest contemplation on this subject of mis-conception, definitely we would have made attempts to find the source of real happiness. After all happiness is what ultimately we pursue in our life.

“Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” – Aristotle.

Thanks for Visiting My Page.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog Page.

Completing my Diploma in Counselling Skills from Banjara Academy last year gave me a great feeling. I said to myself “Yeah, I am a counsellor now, I can solve anyone’s problem and I’ll be the savior for every one around”. But it didn’t take much time to understand the truth. As a counselor I could only provide all possible support in enabling them to sort out their own issues.

Dr.Ali and Mr.Raja gave us thorough knowledge and excellent training on all basic counselling skills required to understand, empathise and support people in any circumstance. Using this as a platform I decided to proceed further in a specialised facet of counselling where I could concentrate more particularly on to a specific area in human relationship so as to focus more in detail and depth.

I decided to focus and learn further on Marital Counselling. To my best I got married at this right time and it’s been really wonderful to learn the minute details of a very close relationship in life. Thanks to my dearest wife Sangeetha.

The most inevitable issue in any relation is handling conflicts. Especially in a marital relationship conflicts are supposed to be integral part of life. Things would be pretty fine as long as two are just friends, lovers or colleagues, but when the same relation is taken to a very close and intimate relationship such as marriage obviously one cannot hide behind the a mask of being too good for long time. Very soon the bare personality of oneself has to come out and if that is not what the other person expects, there starts a huge problem in the relationship.

First and fore most decide if you want to resolve the conflict or dissolve the relationship. Resolving the conflicts amicably is the most critical necessity in a marital relationship or else the relationship will cease to dissolve.

Few tips to avoid conflicts or to handle them in a better way are:

• Communicate, Communicate and Communicate.

• Just don’t argue with numbers and statistics, it has nothing to do in relationship. Instead try to understand the other person’s feelings and emotions.

• Don’t let smaller issues and misunderstandings unresolved; clean it up at the earliest. Few of those small little breaches would ultimately pile up together into a greater concern.

• Spend some quality time with your partner. (Please note, watching television together is not spending quality time)

• Learn to appreciate little things in life. Give some small little gifts often. It need not be expensive, just a single rose would do wonders.

• Readily show your respect and love as often as possible with both physiological and psychological intimacy.

• Learn to address the problem and not the person. (Simply don’t blame your partner if things don’t go as expected, quickly look for alternate solutions)

• Understand that conflicts are inevitable in a relationship and handling them effectively would lead to a longer, stronger and happier married life.

Thanks for Visiting my Blog.

With Love,
Anbusivam

Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog Page.