Toastmasters Project 7: Loneliness – The Most Terrible Poverty
Dear Friends,
Welcome to Anbusivam’s Blog.
I completed my Project 7 in Competent Communicators Manual this week in our Coimbatore Toastmasters Club .
Title of my Project 7 Speech is “Loneliness – The Most Terrible Poverty”. The key objectives of Project 7 are research a topic and support the topic with relevant data and information. I thought this topic enough scope to research and collect relevant data to support. Below is the transcript of my P7 from CC Manual.
Dear Mr.Toastmaster, Fellow Members and Guests – Very Good Evening.
Can any one tell me, what is going to be the greatest epidemic of this century…???
Cancer…? AIDS…? Swine Flu…? Malaria…? NO.
According to recent research in US by the National Office of Statistics, one in five people will go a whole week without speaking to anyone, with a staggering one in ten people spending up to a month without any human connection.
The World Health Organisation has rated “LONELINESS” as a higher risk to health than smoking and as great a risk as obesity.
When I was living in Bangalore, a neighbor of 3 yrs years was taken to hospital in middle of the night. He never returned… I since learned that he has terminal brain cancer and is living out his final days. He had passed me in the street many times, but had only uttered a quick “hello” to me before continuing on his way. We never shared anything beyond just a “hello” for all those 3 yrs. We hardly take time even to know our neighbors, we are engrossed into our iPods, iPads and gizmos these day.
Two major impacts of loneliness are suicide and divorce.
According to the report from Home Ministry of India, 15 commit suicide every hour in India. Of the half million people reported to die of suicide worldwide every year, 20% are Indians.
It is said “Marriages are made in Heaven”, I don’t know to what extent that is true, but I’ve no doubt that divorces are made in earth.
On divorce, recent statistics shows that close to 8000 divorce cases are filed in Delhi this year, number of divorces in Mumbai rose to 7500 a spike of over 13% from previous year, Chennai with 4500 divorces and Bangalore with 6000 divorce cases. On an average more than 150 cases are filed in family courts every day across the country.
Loneliness is increasing due to nuclear families, youngsters working away from home living on their own, both husband and wife working with no time for togetherness . Especially elders in the society are affected the most. More than half of those over the age of 75 live alone and about one in ten suffers ‘intense’ loneliness that leads to Alzheimer.
It is a well-known fact, psychologically established, that if a person is left alone in isolation for seven days he keeps talking inside, keeps himself engaged in the mind, but then it becomes too much after seven days he starts talking… things start coming out of his mind through his mouth and he starts whispering. After fourteen days you can hear him clearly, what he is saying. After twenty-one days he does not bother about anybody, he has gone insane; now he is talking to walls, to pillars. He is trying to find some relationship. If he cannot find it in reality, he will create a hallucination.
In this age of social networking, you’d wonder how anyone could ever feel lonely. I have a friend who has close to 1000 Facebook friends, but very few people he can honestly call real friends, and even fewer with whom he could connect on a deeper level.
With facebook, twitter and other social networking tools, we have more and more ways to connect with others through the advances in technology, but the level of connection that is happening is becoming increasingly superficial. All of the technology in the world can’t change the fact that we are growing more and more socially isolated in our society.
“While it’s nice to be in touch with your cousin in England over Facebook, that can’t replace a more intimate face-to-face relationship…, you need to balance this with relationships within the community you are actually living in,”
Once, my mom asked me to attend a wedding. That was a marriage reception of my dad’s friend’s daughter and had to attend as my dad was out of town that day for an official trip. I knew none other than that uncle, it was a grand function with lots of people wishing the couple, children playing and families talking and laughing. In-spite of all that I felt terribly alone there as I was not knowing anyone in the function.
It isn’t merely the physical presence of others that will solve the problem. It is the lack of emotional connection with other people that creates the feeling of isolation and loneliness. It isn’t as simple as just getting out there and meeting new people. It’s no point in having more acquaintances…but a real deep connection and emotional bonding is important. It requires time, effort, and at least a moderate level of risk. One has to put him or herself out there in order to gain closeness with another human being.
Some simple tips to overcome loneliness could be;
1. Go for a daily morning walk, talk to elders and play with little children around.
2. Try to be open with your close friends and family members. Tell them about your feelings, emotions, fears and worries instead of running the usual superficial conversations.
3. Get involved in some community projects/activities that involve deeper emotional bonding with people.
4. Join a “Toastmasters Club”
“Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.” Mother Teresa
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With Love,
Anbusivam